I must confess that I was—and am—going through difficult times. I used to be very happy, but seven years ago I began to receive bad news without end. My life took a terrible turn that led to a lot of suffering. First came the unexpected death of my father; shortly and even more unexpectedly, the death of my brother; later, a tumor made the dream of being a mother someday impossible. After that, my mother, who had a delicate health, went into a coma... I felt overwhelmed by the pain and despair to see that I was alone: without my family, without children, and without nephews. My unrestrained rage turned against God and with much sorrow I confess that I denied His very existence. I thought that there could not be a God who would make me undergo so much undeserved suffering in such a short time. I wanted to die with my family because I no longer had the motivation to be alive.
When I saw the movie Garabandal: Only God Knows, I felt a great sense of joy within me. I could not take my eyes off the screen. I left that day with the curiosity to know more and more because I realized that it is impossible to capture in just two hours everything that happened there in four years and to date. But the film conveys the main message of the Virgin Mary. It makes you want to convert, to follow the right path to change, to correct your mistakes, and respect the wishes of God, our Father.
I had a great desire to go to that place, something that had never happened to me with any other place. However, I was worried because due to my illness, a stage four endometriosis, the menstrual cycle is very painful. In addition, because of the treatment I have, it comes on fixed dates, and it coincided with the days I was going to be in Garabandal. I told myself that if God and the Virgin Mary wanted me to visit such a wonderful place, they would make things go well. Not only did it go well, but out of God’s Mercy, I felt more joy and peace than ever as I breathed the pure air. Miraculously, I did not suffer any pain, and since then I have no pain. I still suffer from my illness. I still have the tumor that will be removed in July. Even though I was not healed of the tumor, I was healed of my worst disease: disbelief, lack of faith. I cried and cried of repentance for having denied God. The breeze of the Pines embraced me and calmed my tears.
I felt healing in the depths of my heart. While in the town of Garabandal, I went to confession. I had not done so for more than twenty-five years, but now I confess frequently, trying to mend my defects. I go to Church whenever I can. Above all I do not miss Sunday Mass. Receiving the Eucharist has been the best medicine. I learned to pray the Rosary and now I pray it every day.
I do not know if what my heart feels is called a miracle, but I do know that I am full of joy, hope, and excitement, something I had lost a long time ago. Now I have new strength to take on my problems. Although I sometimes fall, I feel the hands of God, our Father, and the Virgin Mary helping me to get up again and to continue fighting. My little crosses are much more bearable now that I walk beside Our Lord.